week 4, wednesday

[seaclipsed]

[ opening that door and stepping inside is, obviously, a bad idea. the entire setup screams "this is some sort of trap," but katara still lets curiosity get the better of her.

she stays in her room for the entirety of it.

when katara exits hers, her cheeks are streaked with tears. coincidentally, she's also stepping out of hers the same time that a princess is leaving her room. ]

Comments

[cutefaced]

[It's a terrible idea, but Yona is full of terrible ideas. The first time, she gets yanked back out of her room while she's still in the doorway -

But the second time, she lingers a little too long, and even then, she doesn't see the nightmare out to completion. She just barely manages to dodge Hak's strikes, then runs out, painfully aware that she is in over her head.

Between the second and third times, she tries to train.

By the time everything is over and done with - by the time they're just about free of the illusions - she's gone back in enough times that she hasn't been able to escape injury, and she's all but gone to pieces as she stumbles out at the same time as Katara.]

No... no, no―

[seaclipsed]

[ immediately, katara wipes away at her face to redirect her attention at yona. it's an automatic reaction; if there's someone else more distressed than she is, then they're the priority.

she crosses the space between them to place her hand on yona's shoulder. ]

Hey, it's okay.

[cutefaced]

[That's... definitely one way of coping. Unfortunately, Yona's only reaction is to shake her head, burying her face in her hands.]

It isn't- Soo-won, he... Hak... I...

[seaclipsed]

Yona. It isn't real.

[ her grip tightens a fraction. ]

Those people... they're okay.

[cutefaced]

...but they... i-it looked so real, I...

[She shudders, and looks down at her hands. There's a bit of blood there, from her own injuries, but they're not nearly as red as they were before, in that room. It doesn't matter. She swears she can still feel their blood on her hands - Soo-won's and Hak's...]

...it isn't real...?

[seaclipsed]

It's not. In mine... I saw my brother. He was standing on ice, and was surrounded by lava. And it was... melting, and I couldn't get him out of there in time, so he...

[ had a pretty lava-y death. she can't help but think of the volcano here. ]

That couldn't have happened though. So if it's not real for me, it isn't for you.

[cutefaced]

Your... your brother...?

[How horrifying. Yona doesn't have any siblings, but she knows all too well how it feels to watch someone die, even if it just in a nightmare.

She rubs at her eyes, but it does nothing to stop the tears.]

It's not just... what I saw. It's... it's what I did.

[seaclipsed]

What happened?

[ she gently moves some of yona's hair out of her face, so the bangs won't get stuck to her cheeks due to the tears. ]

If you don't mind me asking.

[cutefaced]

...Hak wouldn't let me get close. As - as soon as he saw me... h-he tried to kill me, too.

[She's silent for a few moments, clearly struggling to phrase what happened next.]

So I came out here and I asked... people for advice... about how to fight someone stronger and faster than me. [...] ...I-I managed to knock his glaive out of his hands. [...] But he kept fighting. And he's so strong, I... I didn't have a choice but to...

[seaclipsed]

[ oh. oh.

at that, katara wraps her arm around yona in a tight hug. ]

You were defending yourself, Yona. And this place... it messes with you. It makes you do things you normally wouldn't, and these... rooms... they're reflecting that.

[cutefaced]

[She clings to Katara tightly and buries her face in her shoulder. ...the one that actually has an arm attached.]

I still - I still did it. I looked at Hak, and I killed him, and I... I...

I'm... capable of... killing someone?

[seaclipsed]

Yona... you are so strong. You've been one of the strongest people I've gotten to know here, in facing everything that has been thrown to us. And I know you would never do that to him.

[ she's quiet for a moment. ]

That was self-defense. I'm not saying that kind of thing isn't... that it doesn't scar you, because in the end someone still died, but your hand was forced. Your body reacted without you wanting to. In life or death situations like that, sometimes you will yourself to do one thing and something else happens instead.

[cutefaced]

My father...

[Yona hiccups as she tries to stop her crying. Ugh, this is a mess. She's a mess, and she's truly grateful that Katara's so understanding - it's why she's not clamming up, why she can bear to keep talking - but this is difficult.]

...m-my father would have found a way to save Soo-won. Without having to hurt Hak. [Her voice is a little dull.] ...if he knew what I did, he'd... he'd be ashamed of me.

[seaclipsed]

Your father isn't in this situation. You are. You can say how he'd react, and how he would feel about you, but in the end you can't be too sure because this? This is crazy.

[ she touches her forehead against yona's. ]

You are so brave. You try so hard to help everyone, and you're always doing your best at trials. If you were my family, I'd feel so proud to be related to you.

[cutefaced]

[Trying, yes. But succeeding? She's not so sure. She'd tried to help Soo-won, and she'd failed. Even if it was just a nightmare, or a hallucination, she'd watched her two closest friends die right in front of her - she'd killed one of them.

What good will trying do if it ends in that sort of pain?

She sniffles, but makes no move to pull away from Katara. ...it's comforting, having someone so close.]

...thank you for saying that, Katara. It - it's... you're really kind.

[...]

Your family is really, really lucky to have you. Your friends, too.

[seaclipsed]

You're my friend too, you know.

And I want the best for you. I know that it's... frustrating. You can't help but feel powerless, especially with everything that has happened here so far.

[ her grip tightens for a moment, but loosens again. ]

I don't think that... these rooms... that we're supposed to succeed in them. I think that we're meant to lose, no matter how many times we try, to make us feel worse about what is happening on the island.